MY DATE WITH A CHICKEN

I had been here a couple of weeks and desperately needed to eat some meat, so off I went, hunting for some chicken parts. I passed several markets where the chickens hung, ready for purchase, but just couldn’t bring myself to go that route. Growing up in Toronto, I know nothing about how to defeather and gut a bird, never mind trying to behead it.

I found what I thought were chicken pieces at a store that caters to Westerners, only to find that when I got it home, it was a whole chicken. No big deal. I buy them back at home. Except that unbeknownst to me, this chicken still had its head hanging on by a thread, its feet nicely bound and tucked up inside.

“I can handle this,” I thought. I’ll just ignore the head area, and work on cutting off a leg to at least salvage something from the purchase. Trouble is we didn’t have anything resembling a cleaver, so there I was, sawing away at this bird, trying to detach one of its feet. Needless to say, there was no severing to be had this night. Instead, I bagged up the chicken and gave it to my cleaning lady for her family. It was probably the right outcome, as I was told the next day that chances are if I had managed to get past the head and the attached feet, the organs would have likely still been inside.

So, what am I surviving on? I have to admit I’m staying away from a lot of the local food, not because it doesn’t taste good. It’s SPICY! One bite and I turn red and start sweating. Even when they tell you it’s not spicy, it is!

I have experimented with some deep fried squid and deep fried crab. That may not sound exotic to you, but as a kid, my only exposure to fish was canned tuna or fish sticks, so yes, deep fried squid, to me, is a little outside my comfort zone. But I have to say, I enjoyed the squid in particular and would order it again. Or perhaps it’s just that old saying that everything tastes better when it’s deep fried!

There’s certainly no shortage of deep fried goods here. The roadside stalls, warungs, thrive on selling greasy goods. There are deep fried bananas, deep fried tofu and, my favourite, deep fried tempe or soya beans. We can fool ourselves into thinking we’re eating healthy because the food underneath all that batter is actually good for us. And if we do want to eat well, there are plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables to be had. In fact, close to 80% of all waste here is organic. And it’s not just your run of the mill oranges and apples. You can come home laden with guava, papaya, mango, and if you’re brave enough, the dreaded durian. It kind of looks like a pointy cantaloupe, but stinks to the high heavens. I haven’t worked up the courage yet to try it. I think my first challenge will be to get into a real meat market and try for another date with a chicken.